Fifth Period Lunch

Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012

The Mind Of The Yeti – 11.15.12

(By YetiVedder)

I want you to shout this like it is the beginning of a new rap song.  This is Yeti Vedder coming at you live and in full effect!  Sometimes my thoughts are just bizarre, while other times you might be thinking the same damn thing!   Turn me up in my headphones and drop that beat, because Yeti Vedder is about to spit some hot fire!

Sexiest yeti alive? Definitely Yeti Vedder!

* Would it be worse to be known as Vanilla Ice or Rob Van Winkle?

* I really thought I was going to look like a basketball guru when Mike Brown was fired and Phil Jackson was talked of being hired. I mean I have been posting about it for 3 weeks now! Then I woke up with egg on my face and Mike D’Antoni as the Lakers head coach. This move is great for Steve Nash who is familiar with D’Antoni. I also think Dwight will be great in D’Antoni’s offensive schemes. I just don’t know how great this hiring is for defense. If you can get the best coach of all time or a coach that made Steve Nash an MVP, but never won anything, I am taking the best of all time. Phil would have coached them at both ends of the floor. The championship goes through Miami, but I am still thinking Los Angeles will be there.

* If you are a TV superstar that has a famous tag line and you get mad when people ask you to say it, then you are a douche. I just read that Arnold from Different Strokes used to get mad when people would ask him to say, “Whachu talking about Willis?” That is just insane to me! The only reason you are famous is because of all the people that watched you say that line. If I meet John Stamos and he won’t say “have mercy” I will simply be disgusted.

* Was there a more attractive under-the-radar star then Lori Loughlin? Have mercy!

* Aqib Talib will not save this Patriots’ secondary.

* I think this Pats team is a lot like the team that lost in the first round of the playoffs to the Ravens. Remember the game that was over in the first quarter when Ray Rice had an 80 yard run on the first play of the game? It just takes one bad game from the offense and this team will be out.

* Adrian Peterson is the Rodney Dangerfield of this season. He gets no respect! Peyton Manning is walking on water, but this guy who blew out his knee IS the best back in football and he barely gets mentioned in the conversation. The Broncos were a playoff team last year with Tim Tebow. How would the Vikings be without Adrian Peterson?

* The Celtics should just send a letter to fans saying that they will get into the playoffs and the regular season isn’t important as long as you get into the show. That is the way they are playing. They are better then this.

* Rumor has it that the Marlins just traded me to the Blue Jays as well. My FPL salary was too much for them to take on.

* I think the Blue Jays made out in the deal, but do I think it makes them a playoff contender? Nope! Josh Johnson is a pitch away from blowing out his elbow and Jose Reyes on that turf should just be wheeled off of the field now! The Marlins should just be contracted. That team is a joke. While we’re talking about that, hey Ben Cherington, Giancarlo Stanton would look great in a Sox uniform!

* Josh Hamilton is still available and hasn’t been offered a major deal yet. I say Boston offers him 100 million over 4 years. Who says no?

* College basketball is back and URI looks stronger then ever at 0-2 with losses to Virginia Tech and Norfolk State. Next up is Ohio State. I have a real good feeling about that game!

If you know who this is you are as big a URI fan as Yeti Vedder.

* Old School Jam Of The Week: Ice Cube – Good Day. Even saw the lights of the Good Year Blimp and read Yeti Vedder’s a Pimp!

 

* Eliza pretty much wakes up everyday and says that. Except for the lights of the Goodyear Blimp part.

* Tweet Of The Week: @realDonaldTrump I started to get very worried about Mitt’s chances when I heard that A-Rod donated to his campaign. Everything A-Rod touches turns bad.

* Pawn Stars is totally not realistic. Where are the crackheads trying to sell stuff for crack? That is more realistic! No one is selling pieces of history at a pawn shop!

* Josh Beckett Douche Of The Week: Skip Bayless. I hate him with every bone in my body. Tim Tebow will never be a good QB. So get out of ESPN’s pocket and STOP talking about him! He is a backup QB! Where are my Ryan Mallet reports?

* If I had a nickel for every time people told me I looked like George Clooney I would have zero nickels.

* If I had a nickel for every time someone told me I looked like George Clooney’s sister, I’d have like ten bucks.

* Channing Tatum is People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive. Yeti Vedder finishes in 42nd place for the sixth year in a row.

* Where have you gone Dustin Diamond, our nation turns its lonely eyes to you!

Any questions or comments you can find Yeti on Twitter @YetiVedder.  He’d love to hear from you!

About yetivedder

Straight outta Cumberland, R.I. is a crazy mother f'er named Yeti. I will steal your food, drink, and girl all while you are not looking. He might actually do it while you are looking but be very polite while taking all three. He will also do it in that order mainly because he is always hungry, thirsty, and horny! The Yeti will throw the greatest party that you won't remember, because he needs to remain a figment of your imagination. He wants the ladies to think that they may or may not have made love to a giant man last night while feeding him a steak and cheese sandwich! The Yeti is all about getting people to make bad decisions, but yet these bad decisions just feel so right. The Yeti is a diehard sports fan and is never afraid to show his team colors. He also isn't afraid to talk about himself in the third person like the greatest of all time Ricky Henderson! Yeti Likes: Easy women, cheap beer, expensive beer being given out for free, Red Sox baseball KFC and all, Lakers basketball, Metta World Peace, Bruins, Mashmond, Patriots, and bringing Randy Moss back! Easy women, URI basketball, old school WWF wrestling... Yeah I said F!, J's Deli samiches. Sponsor the Yeti page with some free sandwiches!!! More beer, and easy women! Tupac, Biggie, Snoop, Dre, Jay-Z Yeti dislikes: Wine drinkers that think they are better then me, Yeti hunters on TV that have no idea where Yeti's hang out! Hard women... Take that however you'd like... New school WWE, Any rapper with Lil or a direction in their name. Models who refuse to date me, when all I want to do is feed them. Relish of any kind... It is a Yeti kyrptonite.

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