Fifth Period Lunch

Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012

Dumbest Idea Ever: Gigantic Greeting Cards

(By TheWayIsHere)

Somebody should tell grandma she’s holding her enormous Christmas card the wrong way…

I was just watching TV, saw this commercial and felt the need to immediately blog about it. So I literally ran to my computer. Like you, I obviously thought this was a fake commercial. But then I realized it’s supposed to be serious. It’s like something right out of an SNL skit.

I can just picture some stoners sitting in a basement coming up with this idea. “Wait a minute, bro… I got it! What if we just make some big-ass greeting cards?! It’s perfect!”

Who the hell would want an enormous greeting card? A psychopath, that’s who.

And you know who gives an enormous greeting card? A psychopath with a terrible sense of humor.

Seriously, is this the worst idea for a company of all-time? It has to be at least top five, right?

About TheWayIsHere

I’d like to think there is a lot to say about myself, but there isn’t. I founded Fifth Period Lunch with the intent on using the internet to spread gospel and the word of the Good Book. I thought He had a plan for me. Whoops. No, I’m just yanking your chain - I’m actually an atheist. Straylight Run’s John Nolan described both of our lives perfectly when he sang, “I know much more than I did back then, but the more I learn, the more I can’t understand. And I’ve become content with this life that I lead, where I drink too much and don’t believe in much of anything.” I’m married and creeping ever closer to the big 3-0. Despite that, I still enjoy acting like a child, to which my wife can attest. I enjoy microbrews, pinot noir, the Boston Red Sox, the New England Patriots and the Wake Forest Demon Deacons. I believe old people should be forced to take a driving test every year and I have a man-crush on more men than I probably should. Now you know.

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