Fifth Period Lunch

Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012

Sift Through the Brainstorm Debris – 11.6.12

(By TheWayIsHere)

I decided it wasn’t fair for YetiVedder to have all the bullet-point fun, so I reckon I’ll join in on the fad.

What will you find in this weekly list? I have no freaking clue, but I’m sure it will all be deep and profound.

* This year’s Election Day falls smack dab between a superstorm and a nor’easter. Know what that is?

* Anyway, I voted for every single person that you didn’t. Let’s argue about it! Politics… ahhhhh!!!

* Hey Gillette, no guy in the history of the world has ever patted his face after shaving. We’d rather stick it in the freezer.

* I couldn’t be happier that the Patriots had a Week 9 bye – right in the middle of the season. Coming off two straight victories and with upcoming home games against Buffalo and Indianapolis means we should be 7-3 with six games remaining. I’m also a huge fan of the trade for Aqib Talib. Yes, he’s had some problems in the NFL… but he was a beast at Kansas and I think he could do a lot to shore up our secondary. Another trip to the Super Bowl is definitely not out of the question!

* At some point in my life, I want to run for a place in politics just so my opponent can dig up dirt and attack me in outrageously-irrelevant ads. I can see it now:

“Gregg Lavoie picked his nose in 3rd-grade social studies class. Do you really want to vote for a nose-picker?”

“Mr. Lavoie – remember when you fought your own friends during a wiffleball game? How can we trust you in office when we can’t even trust you on the wiffleball field?”

“Gregg Lavoie once egged a car driving down the street. If we vote him in, who’s to say he won’t egg us too?!”

* Last night, I had a wonderful dream that involved Lucky Charms. I was enjoying an enormous bowl of them and was chowing down when some moron asked, “Do you try to save all the marshmallows until the end?”

Obviously I do. I’m not an idiot. To finish the story, I was bummed when I woke up and discovered we only had Cocoa Krispies in the cupboard. Yes, I’m a 28-year old and I still get upset about cereal choices.

* I have to start Ryan Tannehill at quarterback this week in fantasy football. One simple emoticon sums up how I feel about that: 😦

* Somebody needs to come up with a way to convey sarcasm over the internet. There are A LOT of stupid people out there who miss the point more times than not (that’s reality – not sarcasm).

* Why do the Jackass movies get huge theater premieres while you don’t even hear anything about the Nitro Circus movie? I’d much rather watch Travis Pastrana and the Nitro Circus boys.

* Banger of the Week: Our Work of Art by Just Surrender

About TheWayIsHere

I’d like to think there is a lot to say about myself, but there isn’t. I founded Fifth Period Lunch with the intent on using the internet to spread gospel and the word of the Good Book. I thought He had a plan for me. Whoops. No, I’m just yanking your chain - I’m actually an atheist. Straylight Run’s John Nolan described both of our lives perfectly when he sang, “I know much more than I did back then, but the more I learn, the more I can’t understand. And I’ve become content with this life that I lead, where I drink too much and don’t believe in much of anything.” I’m married and creeping ever closer to the big 3-0. Despite that, I still enjoy acting like a child, to which my wife can attest. I enjoy microbrews, pinot noir, the Boston Red Sox, the New England Patriots and the Wake Forest Demon Deacons. I believe old people should be forced to take a driving test every year and I have a man-crush on more men than I probably should. Now you know.

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