Fifth Period Lunch

Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012

Sift Through the Brainstorm Debris – 10.30.12

(By TheWayIsHere)

I decided it wasn’t fair for YetiVedder to have all the bullet-point fun, so I reckon I’ll join in on the fad.

What will you find in this weekly list? I have no freaking clue, but I’m sure it will all be deep and profound.

* “My back feels good… and my bottom feels good.” Not even my favorite part – that would be at the :27 second mark, where the old man points at the computer screen.

* What is up with Christina Aguilera’s tits? Why are they three feet apart?

* I had the 12th pick in my fantasy basketball league draft. In other words, my team is absolutely dreadful. Should be a fun year!

* Eating at Burger King is like hooking up with a prostitute. You drive near a BK and you inevitably catch that scent of deliciousness. It’s inviting and welcoming, just like a hot call girl. But after you finish your meal, you feel like shit and your stomach is all sorts of jacked up. In the case of a hooker, you know you’re going to end up with an STD. They are both lose-lose situations.

* Echoing a Facebook friend’s rant, I’ll never understand why people get upset when a hurricane doesn’t live up to expectations. Why would you want a natural disaster to hit the area where you live? Would you feel better if your house was flooded or your roof collapsed? People are idiots.

* I am looking forward to college basketball season, even though my Wake Forest Demon Deacons may be one of the worst teams in the country this year.

* Why are people so fascinated with the Amish?

* Is anybody else hoping that there won’t be an SEC football team in the national championship game this season?

* Some solid horror movies to watch on Halloween: Quarantine (or Rec), The Descent, Paranormal Activity, The Beyond, 28 Days Later and 28 Weeks Later.

* Some terrible horror movies to avoid on Halloween: Chernobyl Diaries, Jack Frost, Pumpkinhead, Pet Sematary, Jeepers Creepers.

* Here’s a fun stat about the Boston Red Sox: since Nomar Garciaparra left town in 2004, the Sawx have had something like 14 different shortstops. Pretty sad for one of the premiere franchises in Major League Baseball.

* Before I even read this story, I assumed it happened in Florida. So sad…

* I think there should be an R-rated sports network on which commentators have the ability to swear and just be completely politically incorrect. That would be amazing. Imagine Al Michaels during the 1980 Miracle on Ice. “Do you believe in miracles? Yes! Fuck you Russia!”

* Banger of the Week: Now by Matt & Kim

About TheWayIsHere

I’d like to think there is a lot to say about myself, but there isn’t. I founded Fifth Period Lunch with the intent on using the internet to spread gospel and the word of the Good Book. I thought He had a plan for me. Whoops. No, I’m just yanking your chain - I’m actually an atheist. Straylight Run’s John Nolan described both of our lives perfectly when he sang, “I know much more than I did back then, but the more I learn, the more I can’t understand. And I’ve become content with this life that I lead, where I drink too much and don’t believe in much of anything.” I’m married and creeping ever closer to the big 3-0. Despite that, I still enjoy acting like a child, to which my wife can attest. I enjoy microbrews, pinot noir, the Boston Red Sox, the New England Patriots and the Wake Forest Demon Deacons. I believe old people should be forced to take a driving test every year and I have a man-crush on more men than I probably should. Now you know.

Got something to say? Say it!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Click on a Writer. Read Stuff.

Twitter Updates

Enter your email address to follow Fifth Period Lunch and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Do it... do it now!

%d bloggers like this: