Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012
I decided it wasn’t fair for YetiVedder to have all the bullet-point fun, so I reckon I’ll join in on the fad.
What will you find in this weekly list? I have no freaking clue, but I’m sure it will all be deep and profound.
* “My back feels good… and my bottom feels good.” Not even my favorite part – that would be at the :27 second mark, where the old man points at the computer screen.
* What is up with Christina Aguilera’s tits? Why are they three feet apart?
* I had the 12th pick in my fantasy basketball league draft. In other words, my team is absolutely dreadful. Should be a fun year!
* Eating at Burger King is like hooking up with a prostitute. You drive near a BK and you inevitably catch that scent of deliciousness. It’s inviting and welcoming, just like a hot call girl. But after you finish your meal, you feel like shit and your stomach is all sorts of jacked up. In the case of a hooker, you know you’re going to end up with an STD. They are both lose-lose situations.
* Echoing a Facebook friend’s rant, I’ll never understand why people get upset when a hurricane doesn’t live up to expectations. Why would you want a natural disaster to hit the area where you live? Would you feel better if your house was flooded or your roof collapsed? People are idiots.
* I am looking forward to college basketball season, even though my Wake Forest Demon Deacons may be one of the worst teams in the country this year.
* Why are people so fascinated with the Amish?
* Is anybody else hoping that there won’t be an SEC football team in the national championship game this season?
* Some solid horror movies to watch on Halloween: Quarantine (or Rec), The Descent, Paranormal Activity, The Beyond, 28 Days Later and 28 Weeks Later.
* Some terrible horror movies to avoid on Halloween: Chernobyl Diaries, Jack Frost, Pumpkinhead, Pet Sematary, Jeepers Creepers.
* Here’s a fun stat about the Boston Red Sox: since Nomar Garciaparra left town in 2004, the Sawx have had something like 14 different shortstops. Pretty sad for one of the premiere franchises in Major League Baseball.
* Before I even read this story, I assumed it happened in Florida. So sad…
* I think there should be an R-rated sports network on which commentators have the ability to swear and just be completely politically incorrect. That would be amazing. Imagine Al Michaels during the 1980 Miracle on Ice. “Do you believe in miracles? Yes! Fuck you Russia!”
* Banger of the Week: Now by Matt & Kim