Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012
Everyone and their fucking dog is getting in on the bullet point game, so what better way for your boy to get back on his game than with a few bullet points? Here goes…
* Wheel of Fortune recently gave away a SmartCar on the show. I would have had to try hard not to punch Pat Sajak if I won that motherfucker.
* Hands down the best show on TV comedy right now is The League. Just a great dynamic all around. Props to Jon Lajoie for going from YouTube sensation to TV star.
* Also, The Office has jumped the shark. I actually think it happened when Michael left, but I have been giving it the benefit of the doubt for 2 seasons…no longer.
* I made cookie dough the other day. I used half of the dough to make cookies and saved the other half in the fridge to pick at throughout the day. Now that the dough is gone and I still have a ton of cookies remaining, I regret even turning the oven on.
* BluCowgirl recently started a weekly routine of meals and the consistency is delightful. Taco Tuesdays, Soup Wednesdays, Burger Thursdays.
* For as long as I can remember my mom has told me to rub mosquito bites rather than scratch them. Now that I’m a father and know how much better scratching an itch feels, I refuse to teach my daughter any other way.
* The closest I can get to knowing what it is like to wake up from a 20-year coma, is watching Breaking Amish. The minds at TLC are superior.
* Either I had no game in high school (and the bitches I graduated with know that isn’t true), or teachers are getting sluttier and sluttier.
* If I had to have sex with an animal, it would be a dolphin every day of the week.
* Stuffing is the best side dish at Thanksgiving, and Pumpkin Pie is the worst dessert.
P.S. If you Google Images “Stove Top” you literally get a bunch of pictures of Stove Tops. You have to be more specific to get pictures of stuffing boxes.