Fifth Period Lunch

Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012

When MTV Played Videos – 10.5.12

(By TheWayIsHere)

I’m taking the reins on this one since the Yeti is either in hibernation or too busy dealing with a hangover while trying to teach our country’s youth. Regardless, you have me to thank for this wonderful gem.

As far as I’m concerned, the appearance of a midget immediately makes any music video 100 times better. And a midget in a jester costume? Well, that’s just priceless.

I’ve watched it four or five times, and I’m still trying to figure out exactly what the hell is going on this video. From what I gather, we’re dealing with a medieval time period where a pied-piper type is trying to get everybody to dance?

No? Screw it then… I give up.

Highlights of the Video:

:30 second mark – We get the first appearance of the blonde crack whore… commonly known as a crack wench back in medieval times. Clearly this bitch is high as a kite. You’re freaking me out, lady!

:56 second mark – Where the hell did that dog come from?

1:03 mark – Something strange is going on here, I’m just not sure what. The singer is making all these weird faces like he’s struggling to take a dunp, but to no avail. From everything I’ve read, dysentery was a major problem back in the medieval days, so constipation seems questionable. At second glance, he might actually be squatting on a shitter during this segment. Another question: why do you have to look at your hands when you dance? That seems counter-productive to me.

I’m also a HUGE fan of the actual safety dance, where you sporadically throw your arms out to make an “S.” I might just start going around doing the safety dance in public places to see what kind of a reaction I’ll get. Think people will follow me in parade style? I can only hope!

Midgets + crack wenches + constipation = successful music video. Yup, Men Without Hats nailed this one on the head.

About TheWayIsHere

I’d like to think there is a lot to say about myself, but there isn’t. I founded Fifth Period Lunch with the intent on using the internet to spread gospel and the word of the Good Book. I thought He had a plan for me. Whoops. No, I’m just yanking your chain - I’m actually an atheist. Straylight Run’s John Nolan described both of our lives perfectly when he sang, “I know much more than I did back then, but the more I learn, the more I can’t understand. And I’ve become content with this life that I lead, where I drink too much and don’t believe in much of anything.” I’m married and creeping ever closer to the big 3-0. Despite that, I still enjoy acting like a child, to which my wife can attest. I enjoy microbrews, pinot noir, the Boston Red Sox, the New England Patriots and the Wake Forest Demon Deacons. I believe old people should be forced to take a driving test every year and I have a man-crush on more men than I probably should. Now you know.

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