Fifth Period Lunch

Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012

Sift Through the Brainstorm Debris – 9.19.12

(By TheWayIsHere)

I decided it wasn’t fair for YetiVedder to have all the bullet-point fun, so I reckon I’ll join in on the fad.

What will you find in this weekly list? I have no freaking clue, but I’m sure it will all be deep and profound.

* It’s official – Bobby Valentine has lost his goddamn mind. I guess that’s good though… gives management another reason not to bring him back next season. This past Sunday against the Blue Jays, good ole Bobby V made the strangest managerial decision I think I’ve ever seen. With two outs in the top of the 7th and a 0-0 score, Jose Iglesias was batting with Pedro Ciriaco on first. Ciriaco proceeded to steal second base. So what does Bobby V do? He decides to replace Iglesias with pinch-hitter Daniel Nava. To the casual observer, this may seem normal… except for the fact that Iglesias already had a 2-2 count on him. Way to stoke the embers of his confidence, Bobby. Iglesias is supposed to be our shortstop of the future even though he has struggled mightily to make consistent contact. But instead of letting him hit with a chance to do something meaningful to improve his confidence, you pull his ass out of a completely meaningless game. You’re a fucking nut job, Valentine.

* In more New England sports news, can anybody tell me what Bill Belichick was thinking last Sunday against the Cardinals? For me to call out Belichick is a rarity, but I think he deserves it this week. Why the hell would you rely on a 42-yard field goal attempt when your offense was moving the ball like it was?! I understand Stephen Gostkowski is a great kicker who makes that kick probably eight times out of 10 – but haven’t we learned yet not to rely on the kicking game? Ask the Baltimore Ravens how well that works. At the very least pick up 10-15 more yards for a shorter attempt – the Pats had plenty of time and more than enough momentum to accomplish that. Now, instead of being 2-0 heading into a brutal test against the Ravens, we’re reeling at 1-1 and will most likely be 1-2 come Monday morning. Ouch.

* I’m not ashamed to say I still have my lava lamp, circa 1995. I’m also not ashamed to say it’s still awesome!

* It’s coming – crisp nights where you’ll need a hoodie; leaves turning bronze and burgundy; fest beers; pumpkins on porches; spice-laced candles burning each and every night. Yes, autumn is definitely coming. There isn’t a whole lot in this world that is better than autumn in New England.

* Whenever I have to change the litter in my cats’ litter box, it’s basically like going into battle against a ruthless foe. It’s a war that I win most of the time, but last week the stench was so bad that I actually puked. Any given Sunday, right?

* Going to allow my feminine side to take over for a moment: Anybody living in Rhode Island who enjoys rustic/folksy items for their home needs to check out The Primitive Millhouse in Harrisville. Place is awesome – and right now they have some wicked cool fall and Halloween decorations. My wife and I picked up a few things this past weekend, including this:

* I aim to please, but I’m a terrible shot.

* Not sure whether Subaru stole this idea from State Farm, or State Farm stole it from Subaru. Regardless, you’ve all seen this cute commercial. What you probably don’t see is that the young girl has big, brown eyes… while the teenager has blue eyes. Nice job, State Farm. Way to pay attention to details.

* Check out a website called Zen Habits – it’s a wonderful site dedicated to making life a little bit easier.

* Is MySpace still a thing?

* Napster?

* BearShare?

* I think I want to bring snap bracelets back into style. Anybody know where I could get some?

* Every now and then, I somehow manage to zoom out on my MacBook using just the touch pad. Does anybody know why this happens? It baffles the shit out of me.

* We’re still looking for consistent writers – pretty soon we’re going to have to post a Craigslist ad. If you or anybody you know would like to write for Fifth Period Lunch, let us know!

* Banger of the Week: Reach by Eyes Set to Kill

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About TheWayIsHere

I’d like to think there is a lot to say about myself, but there isn’t. I founded Fifth Period Lunch with the intent on using the internet to spread gospel and the word of the Good Book. I thought He had a plan for me. Whoops. No, I’m just yanking your chain - I’m actually an atheist. Straylight Run’s John Nolan described both of our lives perfectly when he sang, “I know much more than I did back then, but the more I learn, the more I can’t understand. And I’ve become content with this life that I lead, where I drink too much and don’t believe in much of anything.” I’m married and creeping ever closer to the big 3-0. Despite that, I still enjoy acting like a child, to which my wife can attest. I enjoy microbrews, pinot noir, the Boston Red Sox, the New England Patriots and the Wake Forest Demon Deacons. I believe old people should be forced to take a driving test every year and I have a man-crush on more men than I probably should. Now you know.

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