Fifth Period Lunch

Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012

The Mind Of The Yeti – 9.12.12

Yeti just taking some BP with penguins.

(By YetiVedder)

*  A wise man once said, “If you’re sliding into home and you feel something foam, diarrhea.”

*  I think that Glee is simply the worst show on television. I hate it with a passion.  The commercials annoy the crap out me!  Fox is thinking, you know what TV show football fans would love?  Glee?!?!?  I hate that they take popular songs and make them into horrible high school chorus versions and I was in high school chorus! I hate that they now TOUR with these horrible songs. I hate that they made a 3D movie that people saw!!! How about just listening to the real song or going to a good karaoke bar?

*  The New England Patriots looked pretty damn good week 1. Tom Brady even gets a face boo boo and literally just says in the most macho way that he likes getting battle scars! This team has a chip on its shoulder and I love it! The secondary is still a little shaky, but opposing Quarterbacks will have far less time to throw the ball with Mr. Jones chasing after them!

*  Week 2 prediction: Patriots 38 – Cardinals 10.

*  If I had to make a Mt. Rushmore of 80’s icons mine would consist of Michael Jackson, Phil Collins, Huey Lewis, and Hall and Oates mainly so that someone would have to chisel Oates’ mustache out of rock.

*  How come musicians don’t write songs like We Are The World any more? Do we not have any good causes that need a song?


*  Speaking of songs, my jam of the week is Mumford and Sons, “I Will Wait.” This song is so good and every time I hear it I like it more and more. I would also love to see a show at Red Rocks.

 *  I know being a Red Sox fan hasn’t been fun this season, but wouldn’t it be great if they swept the Yankees in this series? A boy can dream.

*  How has no one made a chair that can talk? Like the one Pee-Wee Herman had at his play house. You have a bad day and Chairy was there to cheer/chair you up. You see what I did there?


*  In case no one has noticed, and from the looks of the stands you haven’t, but the Red Sox sellout streak is still going! They have less then 50% attendance at games, but the streak lives on! Pathetic!

*  On a lighter note, Dustin Pedroia has played spectacular baseball down the stretch for a team that was left for dead months ago. You can never say this guy doesn’t care!

*  If you could have one person host SNL who would you want it to be? I’m saying Dave Chappelle.

*  If you could have one person over your house for tickle pillow fights who would it be? Mine would be Eliza.

*  Are people really still into the Twilight crap? That wasn’t just a phase? I kind of hope those people really get attacked by vampires and werewolves! At least beat up by Harry Potter fans!

*  I watched Dodgeball over the weekend and forgot how funny that movie is. Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn at their best! The name Patches O’Houlihan is simply a genius character name! Plus I have had a thing for Christine Taylor since she played Marcia Brady in the Brady Bunch movies.

*  If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!

*  Where have you gone Scott Baio, our nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

Any questions or comments you can find Yeti on Twitter @YetiVedder.  He’d love to hear from you!

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About yetivedder

Straight outta Cumberland, R.I. is a crazy mother f'er named Yeti. I will steal your food, drink, and girl all while you are not looking. He might actually do it while you are looking but be very polite while taking all three. He will also do it in that order mainly because he is always hungry, thirsty, and horny! The Yeti will throw the greatest party that you won't remember, because he needs to remain a figment of your imagination. He wants the ladies to think that they may or may not have made love to a giant man last night while feeding him a steak and cheese sandwich! The Yeti is all about getting people to make bad decisions, but yet these bad decisions just feel so right. The Yeti is a diehard sports fan and is never afraid to show his team colors. He also isn't afraid to talk about himself in the third person like the greatest of all time Ricky Henderson! Yeti Likes: Easy women, cheap beer, expensive beer being given out for free, Red Sox baseball KFC and all, Lakers basketball, Metta World Peace, Bruins, Mashmond, Patriots, and bringing Randy Moss back! Easy women, URI basketball, old school WWF wrestling... Yeah I said F!, J's Deli samiches. Sponsor the Yeti page with some free sandwiches!!! More beer, and easy women! Tupac, Biggie, Snoop, Dre, Jay-Z Yeti dislikes: Wine drinkers that think they are better then me, Yeti hunters on TV that have no idea where Yeti's hang out! Hard women... Take that however you'd like... New school WWE, Any rapper with Lil or a direction in their name. Models who refuse to date me, when all I want to do is feed them. Relish of any kind... It is a Yeti kyrptonite.

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