Fifth Period Lunch

Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012

Ladies And Gentlemen, Your 2012 New England Patriots!

(By YetiVedder)

With the Boston Red Sox literally taking two years off of my life this summer, it is time for Yeti Vedder to go to his happy place.  FOOTBALL IS BACK!  I love going to bed on a Saturday night knowing that the next day will be spent watching football.  It always makes the weekend feel a little more complete!   It is even more exciting when you know your team is going to be solid.  This has been the case for the Patriots for a decade now.

Patriots fans really are a spoiled bunch.  The pairing of Brady and Belichick have brought New England three titles, five super bowl appearances (I hate the Giants) and a whole bunch of wins.  You can’t help but feel like they will be in the title hunt every season and this one is no different.  The Patriots will have the same exact explosive offense with the key addition of Brandon Lloyd.  So Brady has the options of Rob Gronkowski, Aaron Hernandez, Brandon Lloyd, Wes Welker and Deion Branch.  The offense will have no problems scoring.  Yes, they lost BenJarvus Green Ellis and the fact that he NEVER fumbles, but Stevan Ridley has looked great in preseason and should fit nicely in the Patriots backfield.  Don’t be surprised if Shane Vereen and Jeff Demps are contributors as well.  I’m not even nervous about the O-Line.  It’s preseason and they are trying different things.  This offense will be solid from top to bottom.

The defense was the side of the ball that would allow games to be interesting last season, but I think this defense is sneaky great.  You heard me, GREAT!  They were dominating in the playoffs, and they didn’t lose the super bowl because of the way the defense played.  This defense has grown together over the past few seasons.  It has had some growing pains, but it has been getting better and better.  The draft just made places of weakness a little bit stronger.  Chandler Jones is that explosive pass rusher Patriot fans have been yearning for!  Put him next to Vince Wilfork and Kyle Love and watch him reap the benefits!  I am setting the over/under at 8 sacks for Jones which would be unreal for a rookie.

Speaking of stud rookies, Dont’a Hightower has also looked solid and the linebacker core will again be led by Jerrod Mayo.  I think Brandon Spikes takes a big leap forward this year as well.  The secondary when healthy can be among the best in the league.  Speaking of players taking a big step forward I think Patrick Chung could be a Pro Bowler if he remained healthy for a full season.  Two names to keep an eye on in the secondary are Ras-I Dowling and Nate Ebner.  They could be  under the radar guys on this Patriot defense.  You really do struggle looking for a weakness on this football team.

Yeti’s Prediction:  I am saying the Pats will go 13-3 in the regular season.  Win two home playoff games and Bill and Tom will be getting that 4th trophy that has been eluding them.  Be excited Patriots fans!  Be very excited!!!

About yetivedder

Straight outta Cumberland, R.I. is a crazy mother f'er named Yeti. I will steal your food, drink, and girl all while you are not looking. He might actually do it while you are looking but be very polite while taking all three. He will also do it in that order mainly because he is always hungry, thirsty, and horny! The Yeti will throw the greatest party that you won't remember, because he needs to remain a figment of your imagination. He wants the ladies to think that they may or may not have made love to a giant man last night while feeding him a steak and cheese sandwich! The Yeti is all about getting people to make bad decisions, but yet these bad decisions just feel so right. The Yeti is a diehard sports fan and is never afraid to show his team colors. He also isn't afraid to talk about himself in the third person like the greatest of all time Ricky Henderson! Yeti Likes: Easy women, cheap beer, expensive beer being given out for free, Red Sox baseball KFC and all, Lakers basketball, Metta World Peace, Bruins, Mashmond, Patriots, and bringing Randy Moss back! Easy women, URI basketball, old school WWF wrestling... Yeah I said F!, J's Deli samiches. Sponsor the Yeti page with some free sandwiches!!! More beer, and easy women! Tupac, Biggie, Snoop, Dre, Jay-Z Yeti dislikes: Wine drinkers that think they are better then me, Yeti hunters on TV that have no idea where Yeti's hang out! Hard women... Take that however you'd like... New school WWE, Any rapper with Lil or a direction in their name. Models who refuse to date me, when all I want to do is feed them. Relish of any kind... It is a Yeti kyrptonite.

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