Fifth Period Lunch

Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012

Starting Five – 8.23.12

(By TheWayIsHere)

People love lists. People also love to argue. So each Thursday, we’re going to give you a chance to read a list and then argue about it.

Go ahead… flex those muscles while sitting safely behind a computer screen in your mom’s basement. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Mom! Meatloaf! Fuck!

This week’s Starting Five is…

Nickelodeon Shows

5. Doug

Doug Funnie was the new kid in Bluffington, Virginia. By all accounts, he was the lovable loser who had to deal with everything from bullying to young love. Doug was a show that was completely relatable – especially to a white kid growing up in the suburbs in the early 1990s. Looking back… I have no fucking clue why some of the kids had blue and green skin. And Patti Mayonnaise kind of looked like she had gone to the tanning booth a few too many times. I’m pretty sure she grew up to become tan booth mom. Regardless, Doug was a great show with a plethora of memorable characters – Skeeter, Beebe, Judy, The Beets, Roger, Quail Man and, of course, Porkchop! Classic.

4. Rugrats  

I’ve already gone into detail about my complete adoration and admiration for Tommy Pickles. Just a total man-crush on the kid. All Sandusky jokes aside, Rugrats really was a great animated series. The fact that it was on the air for 13 or 14 years is a testament to that. When I have kids, I plan on scooping up some Rugrats DVDs so my rugrats can fall in love with all of the crazy hijinks and shenanigans too. That will also give me an excuse to watch the show again without looking like… well… Jerry Sandusky.

3. GUTS

I always used to get so pissed watching GUTS, mainly because I was absolutely certain that I could and would dominate the majority of the contestants. The Aggro Crag? Please. I would have eaten it and shit out a bigger, better Aggro Crag. An Aggro Gregg, if you will. Many people forget that Mike O’Malley was the host of the show. GUTS was like a kid version of American Gladiators, just without all of the roided-out freaks. Interesting to note that in Global Guts, the United Kingdom was the overall winner with eight gold medals, followed by Mexico with seven and the USA with six. There, go quiz your friends on that little tidbit.

2. Salute Your Shorts

Camp Anawanna, we hold you in our hearts. And when I think about you, it makes me want to fart! A hilarious, hilarious show that sadly fell into the same category as My So-Called Life. Great programming that was cancelled far too early and now has a cult following. Salute Your Shorts spanned just two seasons and 26 episodes, but its characters – from Ug Lee and Z.Z. Ziff to Donkeylips and Bobby Budnick – will live in my heart forever. Feeling nostalgic? Check out this YouTube salute to Salute Your Shorts.

1. Are You Afraid of the Dark?

Good god I wanted to be a part of the Midnight Society so bad it hurt. I literally felt pain because I wanted to be a part of the society so bad. Are You Afraid of the Dark was the first horror show on television that catered to kids. I’ve always been a huge fan of horror flicks as well as the paranormal, so this was like the holy grail when I was growing up. How about that Sardo though. What a dick. Always selling magical shit to kids that he knew would cause problems. For Christmas this year, I’m asking my wife to buy me some Are You Afraid of the Dark DVDs. So good… so damn good.

Honorable Mentions/Just Missed the Cut: Rocko’s Modern Life; Legends of the Hidden Temple; Wild and Crazy Kids; Hey Dude; The Adventures of Pete and Pete; All That

About TheWayIsHere

I’d like to think there is a lot to say about myself, but there isn’t. I founded Fifth Period Lunch with the intent on using the internet to spread gospel and the word of the Good Book. I thought He had a plan for me. Whoops. No, I’m just yanking your chain - I’m actually an atheist. Straylight Run’s John Nolan described both of our lives perfectly when he sang, “I know much more than I did back then, but the more I learn, the more I can’t understand. And I’ve become content with this life that I lead, where I drink too much and don’t believe in much of anything.” I’m married and creeping ever closer to the big 3-0. Despite that, I still enjoy acting like a child, to which my wife can attest. I enjoy microbrews, pinot noir, the Boston Red Sox, the New England Patriots and the Wake Forest Demon Deacons. I believe old people should be forced to take a driving test every year and I have a man-crush on more men than I probably should. Now you know.

3 comments on “Starting Five – 8.23.12

  1. Patty Mayonnaise
    August 23, 2012

    Doug not higher than No. 5?! Blasphemy!

  2. yetivedder
    August 23, 2012

    No Double Dare??? Marc Summers would be disgusted!

  3. walrus
    August 24, 2012

    doug, rugrats, and ren & stimpy all premiered on august 11, 1991. ren and stimpy should be on here over rugrats. it was a good show, but doug and ren and stimpy are still things i’m interested in seeing.

Got something to say? Say it!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Click on a Writer. Read Stuff.

Twitter Updates

Enter your email address to follow Fifth Period Lunch and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Do it... do it now!

%d bloggers like this: