Fifth Period Lunch

Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012

The Mind Of The Yeti – 8.8.12

I feel like watching some Winter Olympic sports!

 (By YetiVedder)

*  It must have been so much easier to dress as a member of the Crips than it would be to dress as a member of the Bloods. You could wear jeans everyday as a Crip. Bloods had to find something red to wear. They must have had to do a lot of laundry.

*  Eva Longoria has aged like a fine wine and is still just as hot as her days when she first started on Desperate Housewives.

*  Evan Longoria can’t stay healthy and often kills fantasy teams year after year when they draft him too early and he plays 80 games. He makes Joe Mauer look like Cal Ripken.

*  If synchronized swimming is a sport, how far away are we from having teams from America Best Dance Crew winning gold? I see Jabberwocky gold in 2016!

*  If I won a gold medal, this is exactly how I would celebrate. Way to go Ezekiel Kemboi of Kenya!!!

*  So Josh Beckett gets hurt and Franklin Morales steps in and pitches 6 innings giving up one run. Can the Red Sox please realize that Beckett, Lackey, and Matsuzaka are all guys that are terrible and not worth the headache. Aaron Cook and Morales have been more then serviceable and when you are a top 3 team in runs scored serviceable pitchers will do. Would I rather have an ace in there? Yes! But right now the best pitcher on this team is a number three strarter. I know Buchholz has been good lately, but would I want him in a make or break game? Probably not.

*  Who is the hottest cartoon chick of all time? Many would pick Jessica Rabbit, but I’m going with Daphne from Scooby Doo.

*  So Curt Schilling says he would take a swing at the manager if the manager said nice inning to him after he gave up five runs. What should the residents of Rhode Island want to do to you Mr. Schilling? Take the bloody sock and stick it in your mouth because you need to just shut the hell up. It is so sad that an athlete that was so loved in New England can ruin everything by being so full of crap.

*  Tim Thomas, please read the above statement and follow those directions. No one cares about your political views, so just save pucks from going in the net. Stop facebooking and talking and just play hockey and bring home another cup.

*  Thank God football season is close to starting because my head is going to explode if I have to keep complaining about the Red Sox. I am so excited for Patriots football my nipples could cut glass!

*  I love watching Olympic Races. Swimming or the 100 yard/200 yard dashes where the whole thing is over in less then a minute. If I organized the Olympics I’m pretty sure I could have all the interesting Olympic Events done in 2 days.

*  Of Monsters and Men are this weeks music choice. It’s just a fun band that has a great and unique sound. Check em out!

*  I wish Eddie Murphy would come around and do a stand-up tour. If you go back and watch Delirious or Raw they are still just as great today as they were when they first came out!

*  Is Curtis Martin one of the most underrated NFL backs of all time? I’d say so. No one ever went into a season thinking he was the best RB in the league, but many times he was.

*  My idea to sell Bring Back Tito T-shirts a few months ago seems like I lost out on a gold mine!

*  Emma Stone has that girl next door quality to her. She seems like I would want to hang out with her and interest her in a nice meal and some quality gentle touches.

*  Emma of course is ranked number 2 in the power rankings right behind Eliza. It must be girls that have names that begin with the letter E.

*  As long as I could have different flavors, I am pretty sure I could eat only chicken wings for the rest of my life. Send Yeti Vedder your best recipe!

*  Did enough people really see the first Expendables movie in order to demand a second one???

*  Where have you gone 1st Becky Conner, our nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

Any questions or comments please email Yeti at  He will get back to you!

About yetivedder

Straight outta Cumberland, R.I. is a crazy mother f'er named Yeti. I will steal your food, drink, and girl all while you are not looking. He might actually do it while you are looking but be very polite while taking all three. He will also do it in that order mainly because he is always hungry, thirsty, and horny! The Yeti will throw the greatest party that you won't remember, because he needs to remain a figment of your imagination. He wants the ladies to think that they may or may not have made love to a giant man last night while feeding him a steak and cheese sandwich! The Yeti is all about getting people to make bad decisions, but yet these bad decisions just feel so right. The Yeti is a diehard sports fan and is never afraid to show his team colors. He also isn't afraid to talk about himself in the third person like the greatest of all time Ricky Henderson! Yeti Likes: Easy women, cheap beer, expensive beer being given out for free, Red Sox baseball KFC and all, Lakers basketball, Metta World Peace, Bruins, Mashmond, Patriots, and bringing Randy Moss back! Easy women, URI basketball, old school WWF wrestling... Yeah I said F!, J's Deli samiches. Sponsor the Yeti page with some free sandwiches!!! More beer, and easy women! Tupac, Biggie, Snoop, Dre, Jay-Z Yeti dislikes: Wine drinkers that think they are better then me, Yeti hunters on TV that have no idea where Yeti's hang out! Hard women... Take that however you'd like... New school WWE, Any rapper with Lil or a direction in their name. Models who refuse to date me, when all I want to do is feed them. Relish of any kind... It is a Yeti kyrptonite.

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