Fifth Period Lunch

Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012

The Mind Of The Yeti – 8.1.12

 

Not all yetis are big drunks… Just most!

(By YetiVedder)

*  Do you think The Most Interesting Man In The World knows that Dos Equis is gross and people only think he is interesting because they wonder how he could drink something so gross all the time?

*  Three sports I’d like to see added to the Olympics? 1. Arm Wrestling 2. Cheerleading 3. WWF Wrestling

*  Honorary Mention to Beer Pong. This is something I’d watch.

*  I’d actually like to see baseball and golf come back.

*  What is TV missing? A hero. Someone to cheer for. Right now the television world needs a little dose of Arthur Fonzarelli.

*  Red Sox Nation is going crazy after the Craig Breslow trade! World Series here we come!

*  So last night the Boston media got angry with fans for booing Josh Beckett because he was hurt. I wasn’t at the game, but if I had been there I 100% would have booed. This guy has missed starts for all kinds of tic tac injuries. EVERYONE wants him moved, but we’re not allowed to boo? The last time he missed a start with an injury he went golfing while he was so hurt. He is the definition of a fraud and Sox fans are just sick of him. We should have traded him before the deadline because now it will be impossible to move him. So we’ll be stuck with him for the remainder of the year. I am begging Ben Cherington to show a little backbone and trade the guy Red Sox fans no longer want around!

*  By Ben Cherington, I mean Larry Lucchino, as we know he really runs the Red Sox.

*  So Snoop Dog is now Snoop Lion and says that he is Bob Marley reincarnated. He sounds like he is high!

*  Music recommendation of the week: The Alabama Shakes. Just a classic rock feel to them.

*  Olympic Spoiler Alert!!! The U.S.A Men’s basketball team will win the gold!

*  Any time I drive by a restaurant that has a buffet I think about going there, but 99% of the time I never do mainly because I fear getting kicked out for eating too much.

*  Why does ESPN think anyone cares about what Tim Tebow is doing at mini camp? He is a backup QB!!!

*  Why do I now hate all the people that were on the TV show Friends?

*  I want to update you on the Patriots, but what can I say about a team that is going to be great. The coaching will be great. The QB will be great. The defense will do it’s job and be solid. They will win a whole bunch of games and make every Sunday during the football season awesome and fun. I simply can’t wait!

*  Dumb and Dumber makes me laugh every time I watch it! I like it a lot!

*  Wayne Gretzky is the greatest hockey player of all time. The greatest thing he ever did though was give this world his daughter Paulina!

*  If you want to see a grown man cry just watch any injured dog commercial with me. I’m pretty sure Sarah McLachlan only writes music for these commercials now.

*  Eliza is also a dog lover. We often go to the dog park and play frisbee and laugh and frolic. Little known fact is that Yetis and dogs are best friends.

*  If you watch any show with the words desperate, house, or wives in the title, I am pretty sure we can’t hang out.

*  Full House is excluded of course!

*  Where have you gone George Papadopoulos, our nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

About yetivedder

Straight outta Cumberland, R.I. is a crazy mother f'er named Yeti. I will steal your food, drink, and girl all while you are not looking. He might actually do it while you are looking but be very polite while taking all three. He will also do it in that order mainly because he is always hungry, thirsty, and horny! The Yeti will throw the greatest party that you won't remember, because he needs to remain a figment of your imagination. He wants the ladies to think that they may or may not have made love to a giant man last night while feeding him a steak and cheese sandwich! The Yeti is all about getting people to make bad decisions, but yet these bad decisions just feel so right. The Yeti is a diehard sports fan and is never afraid to show his team colors. He also isn't afraid to talk about himself in the third person like the greatest of all time Ricky Henderson! Yeti Likes: Easy women, cheap beer, expensive beer being given out for free, Red Sox baseball KFC and all, Lakers basketball, Metta World Peace, Bruins, Mashmond, Patriots, and bringing Randy Moss back! Easy women, URI basketball, old school WWF wrestling... Yeah I said F!, J's Deli samiches. Sponsor the Yeti page with some free sandwiches!!! More beer, and easy women! Tupac, Biggie, Snoop, Dre, Jay-Z Yeti dislikes: Wine drinkers that think they are better then me, Yeti hunters on TV that have no idea where Yeti's hang out! Hard women... Take that however you'd like... New school WWE, Any rapper with Lil or a direction in their name. Models who refuse to date me, when all I want to do is feed them. Relish of any kind... It is a Yeti kyrptonite.

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