Fifth Period Lunch

Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012

Trading Places

(By YetiVedder)

I love trade talk just as much as the next sports fan. This week I have been walking around with a regular sports fan hard on with all the talks surrounding my teams. Between Dwight Howard being traded to the Lakers and Carl Crawford being mentioned in talks for Hanley Ramirez, it is like Christmas came early for me. I can only imagine it has to be tough on the athlete. Think about it. The sporting world is the only place where you can simply be uprooted and traded to a different team. Imagine teaching in Massachusetts and the principal walking into your classroom and saying you were traded to a school in Minnesota for a college kid and future considerations? It is a crazy, crazy thing.

Anyways seeing that 2 of my favorite organizations are involved in these trade talks I figured you would want to hear what Yeti Vedder has to say about it. Let me start with the Dwight Howard talks.

Andrew Bynum is a very talented center. Howard and Bynum pretty much have the same numbers, so why trade for Howard? Andrew Bynum had fights with coach Mike Brown about shooting 3’s and was simply just an immature guy. Umm… If I recall didn’t Dwight Howard cause chaos in the Magic organization last year? Didn’t he get his coach and GM fired??? So far this is a complete wash. Andrew has bad knees and Dwight has a bad back. Wash! The main difference is that Dwight is more defensive minded and Andrew is more offensive minded. Let me simply say this… Would I want Dwight Howard in a Lakers uniform? Yes. Would I be mad if this trade doesn’t happen? No. I think that Howard and Bynum are virtually the same player with Dwight having a little more defensive talent, but maybe this is what the Lakers need. A couple of new bodies in there to give them a new look. Steve Nash, Kobe, Antwan Jamison (a sneaky great signing), and Pau with either one of these centers makes us a pretty outstanding squad. Add Metta World War to the mix for a little bit of crazy and we have ourselves a basketball team. So my outlook on this trade? Get Howard to simply shake things up a bit.

NOW… Carl Crawford for Hanley Ramirez and Heath Bell. This one is easy for me. Bye Carl. I am actually a huge Carl Crawford fan, but this Sox team is stacked with left handed hitting. I will gladly take a right handed bat. Hanley is friendly with Big Papi, so that would make him happy. Plus even if we eat some of the contract we wouldn’t be under the contract of Carl Crawford for 7 more years. Admit Theo’s mistake and move on. Carl Crawford is a fantastic clubhouse guy, but mixed in with these jerks he is miserable.  As much as I would love to see them trade Beckett and Lester for a quality player, I have a feeling these talks are just that. Talks.  The Sox will do nothing and I will be an angry, angry Yeti Vedder!!!


* Dwight Howard will be a Laker within a week.

* Carl Crawford will be with the Sox all seven years.

* Josh Beckett will always be a douche and torture the Sox for the rest of his contract.

* The biggest move the Sox make at the deadline is getting two or three more plaques up as we lead the league in those.

About yetivedder

Straight outta Cumberland, R.I. is a crazy mother f'er named Yeti. I will steal your food, drink, and girl all while you are not looking. He might actually do it while you are looking but be very polite while taking all three. He will also do it in that order mainly because he is always hungry, thirsty, and horny! The Yeti will throw the greatest party that you won't remember, because he needs to remain a figment of your imagination. He wants the ladies to think that they may or may not have made love to a giant man last night while feeding him a steak and cheese sandwich! The Yeti is all about getting people to make bad decisions, but yet these bad decisions just feel so right. The Yeti is a diehard sports fan and is never afraid to show his team colors. He also isn't afraid to talk about himself in the third person like the greatest of all time Ricky Henderson! Yeti Likes: Easy women, cheap beer, expensive beer being given out for free, Red Sox baseball KFC and all, Lakers basketball, Metta World Peace, Bruins, Mashmond, Patriots, and bringing Randy Moss back! Easy women, URI basketball, old school WWF wrestling... Yeah I said F!, J's Deli samiches. Sponsor the Yeti page with some free sandwiches!!! More beer, and easy women! Tupac, Biggie, Snoop, Dre, Jay-Z Yeti dislikes: Wine drinkers that think they are better then me, Yeti hunters on TV that have no idea where Yeti's hang out! Hard women... Take that however you'd like... New school WWE, Any rapper with Lil or a direction in their name. Models who refuse to date me, when all I want to do is feed them. Relish of any kind... It is a Yeti kyrptonite.

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