Fifth Period Lunch

Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012

The Mind Of The Yeti – 7.18.12

Two chicks, one yeti!

(By YetiVedder)

*  Do you ever zone out for like 20 minutes with the TV on and realize it has been on the Spanish channel the entire time?

*  Who is your favorite late night TV show host? I’m a Conan guy and even though I wasn’t a huge fan of his on SNL, I like Jimmy Fallon as well.

*  One word to describe movies starring Jessica Simpson? CRAPTASTIC!

*  Reason #2,034 to be excited for the Lakers next season. Steve Nash drinking Keystone Lights handed to him on the highway! I think I have a new athlete I want to party with.

*  The Red Sox really can’t catch a break. They get Crawford and Ellsbury back, but now it looks like Big Papi is hurt. Lil Dusty will be back Thursday. If this team can ever play with it’s real lineup healthy they might be able to put together some wins! I still want to trade Beckett! I’d like to see Ryan Dempster in a Sox uniform as a deadline deal. He’s a great clubhouse guy and would maybe change some of the attitudes of our pitching staff.

*  In a dream world the Sox trade Beckett, Iglesias and a couple pitching prospects for Justin Upton.

*  How crazy is it that Jimmy Fallon has The Roots as his house band? I think it is simply awesome!

*  If someone invited me to a BBQ and I show up and it’s all Burger King food, I am going to be disgusted. I’ll eat it, but I’m still going to be disgusted!

*  One word to describe a movie starring Dane Cook?  CRAPTASTIC!

*  In London, Bruce Springsteen and Paul McCartney were in the middle of rocking out together when a concert promoter cut them off because they were going to go over curfew. I hope someone kicked the crap out of that promoter. We are talking about the two most legendary names in rock that are still living.  They went a little over time and you stop them! The balls on some people.

*  The Dream Team beats this year’s team by 20-25.  I know Magic and Bird were older but that team was just that. A team. They were built to be strong at every position and had Ewing and Robinson in the middle. The best argument is that Lebron, Kobe, and Durant are the only 3 players that would even MAKE that team. The biggest factor of all??? Jordan. He was at his most dominant when he was with the Dream Team and no one on this team could have stopped him. Not even my boy Kobe.

*  I am a huge fan of this video.  Kyrie Irving and Kobe say they are going to play 1 on 1 for $50,000 dollars. Kobe would destroy him, but it brings me to this. All-Star games are awful in every league. They should just do individual challenges. A 1 on 1 tournament in the NBA. Skills challenges in MLB, NHL, and the NFL. It would make everything more interesting and fans would watch again.  I hope for all my friends that are Cleveland fans that Kyrie isn’t out too long with his broken hand.

*  Breaking Bad is back and simply awesome! It is a close second to Game of Thrones as the best show on TV. This season of Louie has been pretty hilarious as well!

*  If this Iphone 5 “commercial” is real, this phone is going to be badass! I don’t think it is real though.

*  Dubstep is the worst kind of music. I love all kinds of music, but this will never grow on me.

*  Words to describe a movie with Dane Cook AND Jessica Simpson?  Employee of the Month.  Oh and CRAPTASTIC!!

*  The hottest female athlete is Maria Sharapova. I think I could take her at tennis though.

*  Don’t worry Eliza, you will always be my doubles partner. Unless I need to win the tournament. Then I play with Maria.  Bonus points if you can name the guys in the picture with her.  This picture makes her even hotter!

*  If the NHL has another lockout they should just never unlock the doors.

*  If you want to watch a grown man sob like a baby just watch the My Wish segments on ESPN with me.

*  FREE JOKE!!! What do you call a really smart boat?  A scholarship!  You’re welcome.

*  Where have you gone Winnie Cooper, our nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

About yetivedder

Straight outta Cumberland, R.I. is a crazy mother f'er named Yeti. I will steal your food, drink, and girl all while you are not looking. He might actually do it while you are looking but be very polite while taking all three. He will also do it in that order mainly because he is always hungry, thirsty, and horny! The Yeti will throw the greatest party that you won't remember, because he needs to remain a figment of your imagination. He wants the ladies to think that they may or may not have made love to a giant man last night while feeding him a steak and cheese sandwich! The Yeti is all about getting people to make bad decisions, but yet these bad decisions just feel so right. The Yeti is a diehard sports fan and is never afraid to show his team colors. He also isn't afraid to talk about himself in the third person like the greatest of all time Ricky Henderson! Yeti Likes: Easy women, cheap beer, expensive beer being given out for free, Red Sox baseball KFC and all, Lakers basketball, Metta World Peace, Bruins, Mashmond, Patriots, and bringing Randy Moss back! Easy women, URI basketball, old school WWF wrestling... Yeah I said F!, J's Deli samiches. Sponsor the Yeti page with some free sandwiches!!! More beer, and easy women! Tupac, Biggie, Snoop, Dre, Jay-Z Yeti dislikes: Wine drinkers that think they are better then me, Yeti hunters on TV that have no idea where Yeti's hang out! Hard women... Take that however you'd like... New school WWE, Any rapper with Lil or a direction in their name. Models who refuse to date me, when all I want to do is feed them. Relish of any kind... It is a Yeti kyrptonite.

4 comments on “The Mind Of The Yeti – 7.18.12

  1. Gonos
    July 18, 2012

    Few thoughts:

    1. Love the one-on-one concept, but the pros suck these days and teams would never allow it because of possible injuries. But I would like to see games or H-O-R-S-E at the All-Star Weekend. I know it sounds stupid, but I think guys like LeBron, Steve Nash, Dirk Nowitzki, Kobe — they’d all do some sick shots. Kinda like the dunk competition, but not played out. I’d love to see some guys hitting halfcourt shots — and then be answered by the next guy.

    2. That iPhone thing is awesome — but definitely fake. Check out the iPad one after it. It’s brilliant, fake, but brilliant. The iPad one makes me say — so THAT”s how Madden will be even better in 10 years. No doubt.

    3. If I’m a soda/candy/shoe/clothing/videogame/sports drink company, I’m locking up Irving for like a billion dollars for 10 years. The kid has natural charm and is quick on his feet (mentally and phyiscally!)

  2. yetivedder
    July 19, 2012

    Kyrie does have the charm, but Cleveland kills him!!! That is why Mark Price never made commercials!!!
    And the HORSE idea is great!!!! 1 on 1, or even 2 on 2 would be amazing!!! They already play no defense!!! So why not do it then???

  3. Gonos
    July 19, 2012

    Oh man, 2-on-2 would be great! Call it NBA Jams 2-on-2 — He’s on FIRRRRRE!!!

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