Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012
* A lot of horny women will go and see the movie Magic Mike while their other half stays home, saves 10 bucks, and watches free internet porn.
* Goodbye Kevin Youkilis and HELLO Will Middlebrooks!!! Let the kids play and we will reap the benefits! Next up, Ryan Lavarnway! Seriously, Larvanway can’t be worse then Shoppach. Salty is playing out of his shoes right now, and I’d rather have the kid play 2 times through the rotation then a washed up Shoppach.
* Hey President Obama! You’re welcome for Youkilis! Thanks for taking him! Lillibridge will be a valuable contributor! Youk will argue strike three! Now fix the education system and take care of my student loans!!!
* Didn’t they just make a new Spiderman?
* In 2004, I thought Curt Schilling could do no wrong. In 2012, I am pretty sure he can do a lot wrong. Oh, and I would smoke him at any sports video game!
* So the Olympics are starting up and I am psyched! I love watching sports I don’t normally watch and all of a sudden should take interest in or else I am considered a bad American. I did watch women’s softball for Jennie Finch!!! U-S-A! U-S-A!
* Little known fact about chanting U-S-A. You can do it any public place in America at any time and someone will join in with you, 100% guarantee! You must yell it at the top of your lungs and try at least for 10 U-S-A’s! Prove me wrong and you will get something from us here at fifthperiodlunch.com! Just remember we are poor here at FPL! Should be pretty easy with July 4th just around the corner!!
* Seriously, how awesome would it be to get a ton of YouTube U-S-A chant bets sent to FPL!?!? Please make this happen!!!
* I have avoided Lebron until now. I still hate him, but he had a great finals and the better team won. If by better team you mean the team that got the majority of calls throughout the playoffs! BOOM!
* I’d love to start a mailbag like Bill Simmons. Except mine would be funny and not censored by ESPN! Email any of your deep thoughts and or questions to: firstname.lastname@example.org.I will answer ANYTHING asked! You have better thoughts for me?? I’ll gladly add them! Yeti Vedder can be a very unoriginal bastard at times!
* Megan Fox is pregnant. No way David Silver did this, right? He also looks pregnant!! I am letting it be known that no matter what she says it is not Yeti Vedder! If that kid comes out 20lbs and hairy I’ll say otherwise! P.S. This picture was taken at my local trailer park!
* The Red Sox Bullpen is quietly having a great season. It is also making me not miss Jon Papelbon one bit! Another earned run by Pap the other night!
* Aceves would kick Pap’s ass in a fight! And then Padilla would eat him. I’m pretty sure Vincente Padilla eats people!
* At first I thought the movie Ted looked as though it was going to suck. It has grown on me and I can’t wait to see it! The Thunder song alone makes it worth while!!!
* Mila Kunis also adds to the want-to-see factor!!!
* Small Mila fact is that she dated Macaulay Culkin for 8 years! So there is a chance for Yeti Vedder!
* Step Brothers is a very underrated movie! I laugh at something new every time I watch!
* Eliza has not retweeted Yeti Vedder. This makes Yeti Vedder sad and I may have to start looking for a new girl. I wonder what Mila is doing this weekend. (You know Eliza is jealous now.)
* I heard Paris Hilton is trying to become a DJ. She should probably stick to what she does best. Making sex tapes!
* If Kevin Garnett doesn’t come back to the Celtics then the C’s will be horrible for the next few seasons! Like Antoine Walker days bad!
* Where have you gone Monica Lewinsky, our nation turns its lonely eyes to you!