Fifth Period Lunch

Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012

The Mind Of The Yeti – 6.20.12

YetiVedder – Building dreams one at a time!

(By YetiVedder)

*  I never complain about weather, but the Yeti’s weather kryptonite is most definitely the heat.

*  If you want to see Yeti Vedder sobbing like a baby, just put on the movie Field of Dreams. It gets me every time!

*  If they really want to have this Red Sox team quit their bitching and just play ball, they should have a sit down viewing of Field of Dreams. They will leave the room understanding that this whole thing isn’t about them! It is about the game and how great it is. How lucky they should feel that everyday they get to play a kid’s game for huge bucks.  Baseball and the fans that pay them are the best thing that ever happened to them. I’m talking to you Josh Beckett!  SO RESPECT THE GAME!!!

*  For those people who think that Tosh.0 is the funniest show on television, I will never trust your humor judgement!

*  Isn’t the whole idea of hair fascinating? For males, it grows on your head first. Then you grow it EVERYWHERE else, but lose it on your head. I still hate my 13-year old self for wanting to shave so badly. He was an IDIOT!

*  I bet 13-year old Ice Cube would hate grown up Ice Cube.

*  I said OKC in 5. Not looking like such a hot pick right now seeing that they are down 3-1. The night Lebron wins the title (I’m thinking Thursday) will be a horrible night for basketball. I literally turned on game 4 for five minutes. I saw that the refs were making horrible calls and watched Field of Dreams instead. I needed to watch something pure about sports as the NBA refs are almost as horrible as the WWF refs. OH, but WWF refs get paid to be horrible because they are actors, while NBA refs just get paid to be horrible by gamblers!

*  Interesting topic that needs to be discussed is if Austin Rivers slides a bit in the draft, do the Celtics take him? Would he want to be coached by his father? Wouldn’t he be the perfect replacement for Ray Allen? The kid can shoot for days!  But what if he has a bad game? Does he get grounded? Does he say my dad should have played me more, and not put his cigar out on my arm when I splilled paint in the garage! Oh wait… wait… Yeti is getting the Celtics and the Breakfast Club mixed up again.  Do I stutter!

*  Speaking of mixing up movies, do you remember when Pacey from the Mighty Ducks scored on a triple deke? Then Emilio Estevez adopted him, and Pacey met a friend named Dawson. Then he slept with Katie Holmes and his school teacher. Talk about a double deke!


*  Is this whole “Bounty Gate” thing stupid or what? I get trying to protect players, but saying that teams don’t have bounties is just ridiculous. No one cares! I mean, it is the quicker picker upper anyways! Wait… Wait… Wrong Bounty.

*  How come if a guy says he is going to a strip club, ladies usually get grossed out, but if a female sees a stripper pole in a public place they must use it?

*  So last week I told you about Eliza Dushku’s kickstarter. Here is my plan everyone. I am having my own kickstarter to donate like $20,000 to her kickstarter mainly so Yeti and Eliza can meet and fall in love. I will even let her see Rick Fox on the side as he is a former Laker great and I am sure that, with all of my future kickstarter money, I can land other chicks on the side as well. I’ll start with that cougar Christina Applegate! Was there anyone finer than Married With Children Christina Applegate? Yes! Today’s Christina Applegate! Like a fine wine my friends!

*  Do you think that anyone who works at the DMV grew up wanting to be a DMV worker???

*  A few weeks ago I said that my favorite band of the last five years was Kings of Leon. I take that back. It is the Avett Brothers.

*Who is the greatest American singer/songwriter ever? I say Bruce Springsteen.

*  Wouldn’t it be awesome if Zuckerberg went bankrupt in like 3 years? He probably read this and is sending his Facebook ninja team to get me.

*  Where have you gone Bud Bundy, our nation turns its lonely eyes to you.


About yetivedder

Straight outta Cumberland, R.I. is a crazy mother f'er named Yeti. I will steal your food, drink, and girl all while you are not looking. He might actually do it while you are looking but be very polite while taking all three. He will also do it in that order mainly because he is always hungry, thirsty, and horny! The Yeti will throw the greatest party that you won't remember, because he needs to remain a figment of your imagination. He wants the ladies to think that they may or may not have made love to a giant man last night while feeding him a steak and cheese sandwich! The Yeti is all about getting people to make bad decisions, but yet these bad decisions just feel so right. The Yeti is a diehard sports fan and is never afraid to show his team colors. He also isn't afraid to talk about himself in the third person like the greatest of all time Ricky Henderson! Yeti Likes: Easy women, cheap beer, expensive beer being given out for free, Red Sox baseball KFC and all, Lakers basketball, Metta World Peace, Bruins, Mashmond, Patriots, and bringing Randy Moss back! Easy women, URI basketball, old school WWF wrestling... Yeah I said F!, J's Deli samiches. Sponsor the Yeti page with some free sandwiches!!! More beer, and easy women! Tupac, Biggie, Snoop, Dre, Jay-Z Yeti dislikes: Wine drinkers that think they are better then me, Yeti hunters on TV that have no idea where Yeti's hang out! Hard women... Take that however you'd like... New school WWE, Any rapper with Lil or a direction in their name. Models who refuse to date me, when all I want to do is feed them. Relish of any kind... It is a Yeti kyrptonite.

One comment on “The Mind Of The Yeti – 6.20.12

  1. Kate Marie
    June 20, 2012


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