Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012
* Is anyone ever really going to use the Miller Lite Pop Top? I want to know the guy that really cares that much about how quickly his Miller Lite is pouring.
* So last week I predicted the Spurs vs. Heat in the NBA finals. Aren’t I the worst?
* Now that Game of Thrones is on a break, all of my favorite TV shows are in re-runs. I don’t know what to do with my life! I need the readers of this to recommend TV shows. I am a comedy guy. I also like Law and Order SVU and obviously Game of Thrones. GO!
* I saw this commercial last night for a fake diamond ring that is supposed to look so close to a $30,000 diamond ring that even jewelers would be fooled! They were selling the rings for $20. My idea? Buy like 30 of them and just keep proposing until I find that girl who is fooled. My guess? The first girl I give it to would be fooled. Do women take their engagement rings for appraisal? If so, wouldn’t that make them just as shallow as the guy getting them a $20 ring? And I STILL save a ton of money!!!
* Miss USA was from my home state of Rhode Island. I am letting her know that I will gladly take her out for clam chowder and coffee milk whenever she’d like.
* Good to see Tiger Woods win again. I was also thinking that there were a bunch of skanky women in for a rude awakening that night. Tiger took Nike’s “Just Do It” campaign to a whole new level.
* My friend asked me what I think the best band of the last five years is. My response was Kings of Leon. I hope I angered many of you with this answer.
* The NBA totally isn’t rigged at all. I mean just because every game looks that way, the team it owns won the first pick in the draft lottery and they have had recently found phone records linking other refs to Tim Donaghy doesn’t mean… Oh man…
* I wish they would make a fast food restaurant that is good for you! How come they have all these microwavable Lean Cuisines, but we can’t have a drive-thru that can serve you a low calorie meal? Why am I sharing this? I could be a millionaire!
* In the New England area, is there a better bang for your buck beer then Narragansett? Plus, I’m a big fan of the whole “Hi Neighbor” thing!
* Hey Lebron… Not 5, not 6, not 7….
* Who is the person that thought Abraham Lincoln-Vampire Hunter was a good idea? I would have loved to been at that meeting! Ok, so we can either do a really interesting story on one of the greatest presidents of all-time or we can make him a vampire slayer! That first idea sounds boring. Who cares that he freed the slaves!? He should slay vampires!!! That happened, or they just put like 15 dead famous people from history on a dart board and Lincoln happened to get hit. THIS IS A REAL MOVIE!
* As most of you know by now I hate Lebron James and I am a huge Lakers fan. BUT I am enjoying my ride on the Celtics bandwagon! P.S. If the Thunder win I am pulling for Durant and company!
* Have you ever fallen asleep with the TV on and had a dream that you were a character on that show? I did the other night and it was not cool being on 16 and Pregnant.
* Back to Abe Lincoln… If we are going to make him a vampire slayer, how close are we to having a Mortal Kombat-type video game where presidents can battle? Who is the toughest president of all-time? I got George Washington kicking everyone’s ass!
* Eliza, I will also take you for coffee milk and Del’s Lemonade! You will always remain my number 1 boo.
* On my phone, I will pretty much do anything with friends. I scramble with them. I will words with them. I will draw something with them. I cave to peer pressure when it comes to games!
* A friend asked me if I could have one TV show come back to air again what would it be. I said Seinfeld.
* My friends ask a lot of dumb questions!
* Where have you gone Steve Guttenberg, our nation turns its lonely eyes to you!