Fifth Period Lunch

Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012

The Hair of the…Yeti

(By YetiVedder)

LONDON (AP) — European researchers are planning to use new techniques to analyze DNA that could help crack the mystery of whether Bigfoot exists.

In a project announced this week, Oxford University and Lausanne Museum of Zoology scientists appealed to museums, scientists and Yeti aficionados to share hair samples thought to be from the mythical ape-like creature.

New genetic tests will be done on just a few strands of hair and should be completed within weeks. Even if the sample is judged to come from an unknown species, scientists should be able to tell how closely it is related to other species, including apes or humans. (Read the rest of the story here.)

OK!  I get it!  Yeti Vedder is a sex symbol and bitches be wanting locks of my hair!  I know this!  BUT, if you want some of my hair, you are going to have to go about this in a civil way.

1.  You collect it off of the floor from Ron’s Barber Shop in Cumberland, R.I.  Ron is the only barber in the world that can give you a haircut, eat a sandwich and watch a TV show all at the same time!

2.  You offer to cut my hair.  Seriously I am balding and all you have to do is come by with some clippers.  I’m ready whenever you are Europe!

3.  One word:  Brazillian!

I had the nicest Even Flow!  See what I did there?  Yeti VEDDER!

You’re welcome world!  But seriously, I’m willing to donate the hair for a cool million.  I don’t think that is asking too much!

About yetivedder

Straight outta Cumberland, R.I. is a crazy mother f'er named Yeti. I will steal your food, drink, and girl all while you are not looking. He might actually do it while you are looking but be very polite while taking all three. He will also do it in that order mainly because he is always hungry, thirsty, and horny! The Yeti will throw the greatest party that you won't remember, because he needs to remain a figment of your imagination. He wants the ladies to think that they may or may not have made love to a giant man last night while feeding him a steak and cheese sandwich! The Yeti is all about getting people to make bad decisions, but yet these bad decisions just feel so right. The Yeti is a diehard sports fan and is never afraid to show his team colors. He also isn't afraid to talk about himself in the third person like the greatest of all time Ricky Henderson! Yeti Likes: Easy women, cheap beer, expensive beer being given out for free, Red Sox baseball KFC and all, Lakers basketball, Metta World Peace, Bruins, Mashmond, Patriots, and bringing Randy Moss back! Easy women, URI basketball, old school WWF wrestling... Yeah I said F!, J's Deli samiches. Sponsor the Yeti page with some free sandwiches!!! More beer, and easy women! Tupac, Biggie, Snoop, Dre, Jay-Z Yeti dislikes: Wine drinkers that think they are better then me, Yeti hunters on TV that have no idea where Yeti's hang out! Hard women... Take that however you'd like... New school WWE, Any rapper with Lil or a direction in their name. Models who refuse to date me, when all I want to do is feed them. Relish of any kind... It is a Yeti kyrptonite.

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