Fifth Period Lunch

Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012

Unemployed at 28. Yikes.

(By TheWayIsHere)

A funny thing happened to me last Friday afternoon around 3 o’clock.

I was laid off…

The worst part is I didn’t really do anything to deserve getting the axe. I didn’t sleep on the job, never laundered money and avoided sleeping with the boss’s wife and daughter. Nope, the move was based purely on the lack of resources and funds my small organization had at its disposal.

So now I’m in my late 20s with a wife, two cats and a mortgage… sans income.

Theoretically, I could join the 58-year old family business and go to work with my father at the deli on Main Street. But there are two main problems with that: 1) I’m my own man! I want to blaze my own trail, not follow in somebody else’s footsteps!; and 2) My family doesn’t own a deli on Main Street. Hell, my family doesn’t even own a deli.

I’d be lying if I told you it’s not a stressful situation. Hollywood and TV shows always led us to believe that, by 28, we’d be well on our way thanks to a successful career in the field we love. Ain’t that a crock of shit? The real world always has a funny way of bringing us back to reality – whether it’s a tragedy that hits close to home, a death in the family or some unexpected bad news.

Also, thanks to the good timing of my dismissal, I now get to compete for vacant job positions with thousands and thousands of recent college graduates who can be hired at a much lower income than me. Terrific.

Gotta love the real world. Damn I miss high school and college.

Anyway, if you’d like to donate to the newly-created The Way Is Broke Fund, please let me know in the comments section below. Donations will be accepted in the form of cash money and booze. Thank you.

About TheWayIsHere

I’d like to think there is a lot to say about myself, but there isn’t. I founded Fifth Period Lunch with the intent on using the internet to spread gospel and the word of the Good Book. I thought He had a plan for me. Whoops. No, I’m just yanking your chain - I’m actually an atheist. Straylight Run’s John Nolan described both of our lives perfectly when he sang, “I know much more than I did back then, but the more I learn, the more I can’t understand. And I’ve become content with this life that I lead, where I drink too much and don’t believe in much of anything.” I’m married and creeping ever closer to the big 3-0. Despite that, I still enjoy acting like a child, to which my wife can attest. I enjoy microbrews, pinot noir, the Boston Red Sox, the New England Patriots and the Wake Forest Demon Deacons. I believe old people should be forced to take a driving test every year and I have a man-crush on more men than I probably should. Now you know.

4 comments on “Unemployed at 28. Yikes.

  1. carol lavoie
    May 16, 2012

    Hey, I’ll be happy to buy you a case of Tecate – but you have to come to South Georgia to drink it!

  2. jpc3
    May 16, 2012

    in the spirit of office space… “what is it that you DO?”

    send me your resume and i’ll see what I can do at EMC for ya.

  3. SacDaddy82
    May 16, 2012

    Been there. It sucks.

  4. Stosh
    August 7, 2012

    I’m 28, unemployed about to go hit funking Shop Rite to see if I can stock shelves. Seriously. I graduated from one of the top 250 Universities in the Nation in ’06. Had great internships, have huge connections in my field and shit still isn’t working. My last girlfriend had a 5 year old. I ended that shit. Now I’m dating a 20 year old who is more mature than all of us combined because your bio alone is exactly me only different teams. I have some huge leads, but they are just that right now. I try not to take things too seriously but shits real in the field .. Good luck!

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This entry was posted on May 16, 2012 by in Random Ish and tagged , , , , , , , , .

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