Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012
Ten years ago yesterday, we heard one of the best sports rants of all-time.
“We talking about practice.”
I shouldn’t even have to say anything more.
Allen Iverson’s rant to the media about missing practice is still a classic to this day. In case you have been living under a rock, check this out:
In honor of Iverson’s feat, I’m listing my top 10 sports rants of all time. I’m sure there’s at least one or two that I’m missing, but that’s the beauty of this list. This gives you a chance to share your thoughts.
10. Kevin Borseth, Michigan women’s basketball coach – Key word(s): None
It wasn’t really about what he said. Coming to the podium and slamming it before even speaking makes it worthy of this list. I’m not sure, but I think he was upset about a lack of rebounding after a loss to Wisconsin.
9. Herm Edwards, New York Jets coach – Key word(s): You play to win the game.
After a 2002 loss to the Cleveland Browns, a reporter asked Edwards a question. Here was his response:
8. Jim Calhoun, Connecticut men’s basketball coach – Key word(s): Not a dime back.
Apparently, Calhoun doesn’t like being asked about his salary.
7. Mike Singletary, San Francisco 49ers coach – Key word(s): Can’t do it!
Singletary was not happy with tight end Vernon Davis during a loss to the Seattle Seahawks in 2008.
6. Bart Scott, New York Jets linebacker – Key word(s): Can’t wait!
I apologize in advance to TheWayIsHere and any other Patriots fans in our 5PL crew. After an upset victory at Foxboro in the 2011 playoffs, ESPN’s Sal Paolantonio summoned Scott, who thanked Keyshawn Johnson and blasted all “nonbelievers” while making cracks about New England’s defense. His closing two words make the interview.
5. Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State football coach – Key word(s): I’m a man! I’m 40!
The Cowboys were fresh off a win over Texas Tech in 2007, but Gundy was pissed about a newspaper article that took shots at one of his players. He let the media know how he felt about it.
4. Denny Green, Arizona Cardinals coach – Key word(s): They are who we thought they were!
Fuckin’ Rex Grossman. This assclown was my fantasy quarterback for this unforgettable week in 2006 and turned the ball over SIX times (4 picks, 2 fumbles). He scored -8 for the week and I took a 3-point loss. Sorry, there I go getting off topic again. Anyway, behind the Bears defense, Chicago rallied for the 24-23 win. Green came to the podium fuming. Watch for yourself.
3. Jim Mora, Indianapolis Colts coach – Key word(s): Playoffs!?
After a 2001 loss to the San Francisco 49ers, Mora wasn’t a happy camper, complaining mostly about turnovers. However, this rant will always be remembered for one eight-letter word that has been immortalized in all sports circles.
2. Allen Iverson, Philadelphia 76ers guard – Key word(s): Practice.
You read the intro and saw the video, so you already know that this is a classic. However …
The best sports rant of all time goes to …
1. Hal McRae, Kansas City Royals manager – Key words: Put that in your fuckin’ pipe and smoke it.
This is the definition of a sports rant. All it took was one question about his lineup choices and it was on like Donkey Kong! I love how he spun while he threw the phone. For anyone needing a role model for sports rants, this is your guy!
I’m sure I’ve forgotten some great ones. Hell, maybe I did it on purpose to get you talking. At any rate, I’d like your take on this list, including some of your favorites that I didn’t mention.
Just don’t piss me off because I can rant with the best of them.