Fifth Period Lunch

Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012

Greatest Red Sox Team Ever

(By YetiVedder)

In honor of Fenway Park’s 100th anniversary, the Boston Red Sox have put up a poll online allowing fans to select the best all-time Red Sox at every position – appropriately named the All-Fenway Team. Hell, they even made a best bench player position! I love these kind of votes, especially when it can get my mind off of how horrible this current team is playing. So without further adieu, my all-time Red Sox squad!


Catcher: Carlton Fisk- This guy is the Red Sox best catcher of all time. I have a feeling Vartitek will take some votes away from him, but Pudge should win this vote. He is a Hall of Famer. Tek was great, but not the best ever! How have the Red Sox promotion minds not come up with a Carlton dance yet? Have Pudge getting all Carlton from the Fresh Prince on us??? Stupid thoughts from a stupid man!

First baseman: Mo Vaughn – This is my squad and not yours! If Yaz was an option here I would have voted for him, but he’s not! Mo was always one of my favorite Red Sox players! He actually came and spoke at my elementary school (Shout out to Cumberland Hill) and signed autographs and was just an awesome guy! So give me some Mo as my Red Sox all time first basemen.

Second baseman: Dustin Pedroia – Yes his career is way shorter than Bobby Doerr’s, but I love Pedey. He says the greatest stuff ever like this…

That alone should make no one vote for Remy! Best TV broadcaster is Remy. He is definitely not the greatest second basemen though! Laser show and all, Pedroia has been a pleasure to watch. He was the ROY, MVP, and will be an all-star for years to come! I’ll take Pedey as my second basemen any day!

Shortstop: Nomar Garciaparra – I never wear a team jersey.  The first jersey I ever bought with my own money was a number 5 jersey. He was the heart and soul of the team when he played and it bums me out that he didn’t win a ring with us. He was better then Jeter and could hit with the likes of A-Rod. They were the big three of shortstops at the time and injuries cost him what could have been a Hall of Fame career. This one should be a no brainer to me!

Third baseman: Wade Boggs – The guy could just flat out hit! I used to love watching him play and it was too bad that he went to the Evil Empire and road a horse when he won a title, but to say the guy didn’t care is just stupid. Watch the highlights of him crying after the Sox lost in 1986 and tell me he didn’t care. I would take a Wade Boggs in the lead off spot any day of the week!

Left fielder: Ted Williams – This one was ridiculously hard. You have Yaz, Rice and Manny all going against the best hitter of all time. Teddy Ballgame should win this easily, but those other three players are all the best left fielder of all time on most other teams. Mad props to my boy the Gator as well! Greenwell was awesome in 1988!

Center fielder: Johnny Damon – Game seven in Yankee Stadium. That is all I have to say. This guy should have NEVER been booed. I don’t care if he went to Fenway and flipped off the entire stadium! Johnny Damon was awesome on the field, in the clubhouse, and I would gladly welcome him back to Boston with open arms!

Right fielder: Dwight Evans – Not only does Dewey belong on this list, but you could argue he belongs in the hall. He was a great hitter throughout the 1980s and the BEST right fielder defensively in baseball. He had an absolute cannon for an arm and was always a hard out for any opposing pitcher. This is another one for me that should be a no brainer.

Designated Hitter: David Ortiz – This one was a toughy. I mean Don Baylor was awesome at getting hit by pitches! Whoever doesn’t vote for Papi is an idiot! The guy was the most clutch hitter in Red Sox history!

Right-handed Starting Pitcher: Pedro Martinez – I used to love going to Fenway on the day Pedro was pitching. You weren’t excited for a win, you were excited to possibly see a no-hitter every time! The guy was amazing. He is the greatest pitcher I have ever seen, period! Not just with the Red Sox, but any pitcher ever!  Roger Clemens is a close second for me, but I still vote for Pedro!

Left-handed Starting Pitcher: Jon Lester – Yes, yes I know a lot of my players are recent or current Red Sox players and this one may be a stretch, but I have always been a fan of Lester. The whole cancer recovery and coming back to be a stud thing will never get old to me. I know he ate chicken and drank beer. Guess who else does that? Me. I love chicken and beer. I don’t do either while working, but then again I’m not a baseball player! I also couldn’t bring myself to vote for Babe Ruth.

Bullpen: Derek Lowe – I know he wasn’t the best bullpen guy, but he was super clutch in 2004! People forget how great he was! He was such a stud in that series. I also couldn’t bring myself to vote for Pap. The wound is too fresh of him saying Philly was a better place to play. I also feel Pap wasn’t so clutch the past couple of seasons! There I said it!

Bench Player: Dave Roberts – I feel like this position was made so he’d win. He stole second! I get it! But is he the best bench player on the Red Sox of all time! It was the greatest pinch runner of all time. It was an amazing moment! But best bench player? There has to be a better bench guy, right? I’m still voting for Dave Roberts!

Manager: Terry Francona – This guy should have had a lifetime pass to manage the team until he wanted to. Two World Series titles as opposed to everyone else’s zero. I’ll take Tito. Actually, if I could, I would take Tito back now!

You agree with me? Disagree? Please feel free to let me know your deepest thoughts in the comment section! I’d love to know what you guys think on this!

About yetivedder

Straight outta Cumberland, R.I. is a crazy mother f'er named Yeti. I will steal your food, drink, and girl all while you are not looking. He might actually do it while you are looking but be very polite while taking all three. He will also do it in that order mainly because he is always hungry, thirsty, and horny! The Yeti will throw the greatest party that you won't remember, because he needs to remain a figment of your imagination. He wants the ladies to think that they may or may not have made love to a giant man last night while feeding him a steak and cheese sandwich! The Yeti is all about getting people to make bad decisions, but yet these bad decisions just feel so right. The Yeti is a diehard sports fan and is never afraid to show his team colors. He also isn't afraid to talk about himself in the third person like the greatest of all time Ricky Henderson! Yeti Likes: Easy women, cheap beer, expensive beer being given out for free, Red Sox baseball KFC and all, Lakers basketball, Metta World Peace, Bruins, Mashmond, Patriots, and bringing Randy Moss back! Easy women, URI basketball, old school WWF wrestling... Yeah I said F!, J's Deli samiches. Sponsor the Yeti page with some free sandwiches!!! More beer, and easy women! Tupac, Biggie, Snoop, Dre, Jay-Z Yeti dislikes: Wine drinkers that think they are better then me, Yeti hunters on TV that have no idea where Yeti's hang out! Hard women... Take that however you'd like... New school WWE, Any rapper with Lil or a direction in their name. Models who refuse to date me, when all I want to do is feed them. Relish of any kind... It is a Yeti kyrptonite.

5 comments on “Greatest Red Sox Team Ever

  1. TheWayIsHere
    May 7, 2012

    C – Pudge
    1B – Foxx
    2B – Pedey
    SS – Nomar
    3B – A serious toss-up for me… Lowell and Mueller are two of my favorite players of all-time. Impossible for me to choose.
    LF – Teddy Ballgame
    CF – Fred Lynn
    RF – Dewey
    DH – Papi
    Lefty SP – Lefty Grove
    Righty SP – Pedro
    Bullpen – Pap
    Bench – Who cares?
    Manager – Tito, hands down

  2. mommyhatesme
    May 7, 2012

    The Mets fully agree with the Mo Vaughn pick.

    Also Boss, Lowell was not a Red Sox player long enough or having enough impact for a team with this much history to be an all-timer.

  3. mommyhatesme
    May 7, 2012

    Also, can we just shift Jim Rice to RF? It’s bad enough he gets snubbed from the HoF.

  4. TheWayIsHere
    May 7, 2012

    Five seasons, including a World Series title. All-Star, World Series MVP, a hero in Boston. Boggs would be the popular pick, obviously, but my pick would go to Lowell or Mueller (who only played three seasons with the Sox).

    • mommyhatesme
      May 7, 2012

      Dude, c’mon. Scott Brosius was a WS MVP once; same for David Freese. 4 or 5 games does not make a legend. Even the All-Star voting is tainted given the tremendous power of fan voting and Boston’s large (and insane) fan base. Boggs and his fried chicken is the easy pick.

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