Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012
Damn you, Applebee’s!!!
The run is over — or, at least I think it is.
With no disrespect to two friends who I watched get married on this day, Saturday, May 5, 2012, will go down as a day of infamy. Why? It’s the day I believe I finally heard a Justin Bieber song.
As long as this little bastard has been popular, I’ve told anyone who would listen that I was going to go as long as I could without ever hearing one of his songs. When I tell people this, I often hear, “You’ve never heard that ‘Baby’ song?” People just can’t believe I’d never heard any of his music.
I’ve gone through great lengths to avoid this. I don’t listen to music on the radio, opting for sports talk or CDs. I don’t watch MTV or VH1 during the rare times they actually show music videos, which is probably about 4 hours a day when only tweakers would be awake. If this dude’s name is mentioned or I see his face when watching TV, I quickly change the channel or hit the mute button.
This time, there was nothing I could do. I don’t know if there’s a term for it, but I was basically “Rick Rolled” by Justin Bieber.
Before the wedding, I was having lunch at Applebee’s in Stockton before making the 90-plus minute drive to Sonora, where my friends were set to exchange vows. As I watched the Pacers-Magic game on their big screen, I noticed the crappy pop music that was being played throughout the restaurant but paid it little to no mind.
As I ate my lunch, everything was going fine until I just happened to catch three little words as a song ended, hitting me like nails on a chalkboard.
“Never say never.”
Knowing the dude has a movie bearing the same title (before anyone asks, I’m in journalism and am decently knowledgeable in pop culture; that’s how I am aware of this), I’m pretty sure it was his song.
I could be wrong, but I doubt it. I could find the song on YouTube or iTunes to see if it was indeed his, but that would mean that I’d be voluntarily listening to Justin Bieber.
No. Way. In. Hell.
I’ve never been asked, but I’m sure some have wondered: Why do I hate so hard on Bieber? Just my opinion, but the kid strikes me as a no-talent assclown who just happens to be popular because little girls seem to find him attractive and because today’s youth listens to bullshit. That’s what most of the newer popular music I’ve heard in the last few years sounds like to me: Bullshit. The beats are simple and the lyrics are repetitive garbage.
Damn, complaining about today’s music. I guess this officially makes me “old.” Guess the next step is to go chase these little whipper snappers off my lawn and start having “supper” at 4 p.m.
Sorry, got a little off track. Back to Bieber.
The kid’s face is everywhere: On TV, in movies, on billboards and in magazines. Maybe rightfully so, but Public Enemy told me a long time ago, “Don’t believe the hype.” The final straw for me was when I read that he was once nominated for a BET award.
A FREAKIN’ BET AWARD!
If he can win an award on a black entertainment channel, I can be the grand wizard of the Ku Klux Klan.
I’m sure there are millions of people who have Bieber Fever. Maybe I’m in the minority, but I’m definitely not one of them.
I made it quite a while on my quest to never hear his music. I guess I’ve learned that I should never say never.