Fifth Period Lunch

Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012

Where’s My Cerveza?! The Unspoken History of Why We Get Drunk on May 5th

(By Made4TVMovie)

Before we down endless buckets of Corona, Tecate, Pacifico and Negro Modelo, take too many shots of Patron and rail tequila to the point where we wake up the next morning with no pants on beside someone we don’t know, I want to take this second and tell you exactly how we got there.

Cinco de Mayo, or “Fifth of May” in Spanish, might be a little unclear to everyone that is celebrating it this weekend, so let me take a second to stop the swinging pinata and enlighten you all. Most of you probably think you are celebrating because some idiot told you it is Mexico’s Independence Day. Well, I am here to tell you the next time you see that person who told this bolso of lies, go right up to them and back-slap them with the education I am about to drop.

Cinco de Mayo in the U.S. of A is a celebration of Mexican heritage and pride, and to commemorate the cause of freedom and democracy during the first years of the American Civil War. In Mexico, it is mostly celebrated in the city of Puebla, during which they break pinatas and each get their own bottle of tequila to commemorate the Mexican army’s unlikely victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862.

Let me be honest for just a second. We here in America hate the French. So any chance to party over something that the French lost or did wrong is awesome in my book. But we’re not here to talk about those arrogant, smelly, hair-infested, think-they’re-shit-doesn’t-stink Frenchies; we’re here to celebrate all the illegal and undocumented ancestors of those who fought on that fateful day over 150 years ago.

As you crack one of the many cervezas you’ll have this weekend, crack another one for the man cutting your lawn, the dishwasher in your local restaurant, or even for the taco truck that serves the best $5 meal you’ve had in a long time. Remember where they come from because we all have a history. Most of us might not care or understand why we are celebrating tomorrow, but as you down another tequila shot, hopefully you now have a better understanding.

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