Fifth Period Lunch

Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012

Cardboard Combat – 4.27.12

(By TheWayIsHere)

Last week’s Cardboard Combat turned into a bloodbath as the 1968 Dave Ricketts card murdered the 1964 Pedro Ramos card. Let’s see if we can make this week’s battle a little bit closer, shall we?

1958 Frank Zupo vs. 1958 Don Mossi

1958 Topps Frank Zupo

Yes, Frank Zupo is a real person.  No, I did not use Photoshop to edit that unibrow. Honestly, what is there to say about this dude? Guy’s just a stud. Swag on top of swag on top of swag. On closer inspection, it looks like Zupo is sporting the ultra-rare tri-brow as opposed to the fairly-common unibrow. It looks like that patch of hair on the bridge of his nose is its own entity – an island, if you will. How it got there, nobody knows. Zupo completes the look with the chest hair popping out at you – though it seems to be more a mix of chest hair and neck hair. Definition of hair swag.

Key Stats: 1980s film”Teen Wolf” was based on Zupo’s life; doesn’t need to wear a sweater or hat in the winter; nickname is Noodles; 20 career plate appearances over three seasons

1958 Topps Don Mossi

Yes, Don Mossi is a real person. No, I did not use Photoshop to edit those ears.  Mossi was actually a pretty damn good pitcher back in the day, but good lord he was an ugly bastard. You gotta wonder what size hat he wore, because that dome is massive. It’s no wonder his ears were the size of an elephant – his head was like three feet in height. Mossi also pulls off the triple chin look to perfection. There’s so much loose skin on this guy, I wonder if his teammates mistook his face for a baseball glove from time to time.

Key Stats: Disney’s “Dumbo” was based on Mossi’s life; travels by himself on road trips – flies from city to city using ears; nicknames include Ears and The Sphinx; posted a career record of 101-80 with 50 saves and a 3.43 ERA

Who ya got?

About TheWayIsHere

I’d like to think there is a lot to say about myself, but there isn’t. I founded Fifth Period Lunch with the intent on using the internet to spread gospel and the word of the Good Book. I thought He had a plan for me. Whoops. No, I’m just yanking your chain - I’m actually an atheist. Straylight Run’s John Nolan described both of our lives perfectly when he sang, “I know much more than I did back then, but the more I learn, the more I can’t understand. And I’ve become content with this life that I lead, where I drink too much and don’t believe in much of anything.” I’m married and creeping ever closer to the big 3-0. Despite that, I still enjoy acting like a child, to which my wife can attest. I enjoy microbrews, pinot noir, the Boston Red Sox, the New England Patriots and the Wake Forest Demon Deacons. I believe old people should be forced to take a driving test every year and I have a man-crush on more men than I probably should. Now you know.

One comment on “Cardboard Combat – 4.27.12

  1. Pingback: Cardboard Combat – 5.4.12 « Fifth Period Lunch

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